Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
