Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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