On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
