Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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