I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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