would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
