Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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