How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
