It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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