Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
