We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
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You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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