I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
My liver just had a heart attack.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
