HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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