I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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