Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
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My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
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I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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