There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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