i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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