Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Randomize