i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
