please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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