I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
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He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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