But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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