But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
