Yo dont text me then not text me
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
