this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
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