my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
