umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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