the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
