Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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