the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize