Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
