You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
You smell like stripper and shame
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
