what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
