Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
