Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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