id be glad to
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.