you guys were way drunker than both of me
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
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he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
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Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.