we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.