Texts From Last Night

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  (408): View more from California

  I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.

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  (408): I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller. http://tfl.nu/ndfu
  Replies (13) Good night (679) Bad night (3712)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.

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  (703): one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day. http://tfl.nu/f2q9
  Replies (16) Good night (1429) Bad night (3486)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.

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  (908): she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up. http://tfl.nu/hjpb
  Replies (24) Good night (4000) Bad night (1051)
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  (914): View more from New York

  so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok

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  (914): so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok http://tfl.nu/x8pl
  Replies (17) Good night (4462) Bad night (666)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.

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  (563): when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle. http://tfl.nu/q5ra
  Replies (17) Good night (4604) Bad night (1299)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.

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  (404): It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more. http://tfl.nu/2mzd
  Replies (17) Good night (1365) Bad night (7821)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...

  (1-352): View more from Florida

  so you did it...

  (352): View more from Florida

  obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.

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  (352): homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview... (1-352): so you did it... (352): obv...but still...it was inconsiderate. http://tfl.nu/j7x7
  Replies (29) Good night (5875) Bad night (1371)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.

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  (970): Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid. http://tfl.nu/9pof
  Replies (17) Good night (1047) Bad night (5287)
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  (925): View more from California

  I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??

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  (925): I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing?? http://tfl.nu/da8e
  Replies (14) Good night (3710) Bad night (888)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.

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  (301): i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk. http://tfl.nu/vlxs
  Replies (11) Good night (3935) Bad night (1622)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages

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  (815): I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages http://tfl.nu/m114
  Replies (4) Good night (737) Bad night (2201)
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  (516): View more from New York

  She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.

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  (516): She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location. http://tfl.nu/ak9e
  Replies (8) Good night (1272) Bad night (628)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....

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  (479): You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging.... http://tfl.nu/it7p
  Replies (0) Good night (299) Bad night (530)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls

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  (215): i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls http://tfl.nu/liuo
  Replies (5) Good night (662) Bad night (290)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.

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  (330): It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is. http://tfl.nu/7216
  Replies (1) Good night (281) Bad night (221)

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