He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
