This girl is more easily done than said...
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
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