I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
In America we eat man semen.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
