Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
