there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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