butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
