I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Randomize
