so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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