By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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