Those balls look pretty dangerous.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
this just has baby written all over it
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
