he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
This is my life. Enjoy the view
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
