i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
