its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize