So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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