i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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