After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Alive.
So much puke
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
