I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
