I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Randomize
