I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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