I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
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And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
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I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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