You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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