i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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