Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
