He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I touched a dick in church today
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