I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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