Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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