Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
