This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
