honey bunches of taint.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
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