he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
